Three little words

This is very loosely a sequel to grungerockchick's guide to the fairer sex where I talked about why I really don't think chicks are that hard to figure out.  I am a big proponent of Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages, and my primary languages are Words of Affirmation, with a dash of Physical Touch.

So this entry is another sassy relationship commentary on why I really don't think words are that freaking difficult! :)

You see the biggest single problem with Words of Affirmation, is people...ahem, especially men...seem to have some idea that this means long winded poetry or, those dreaded words "I love you".  Not so!  It's more about quality and less about quantity.  I have been with men who could talk the hind leg off a donkey and yet still leave me feeling unloved.  I've also been with men who said very little, but in a few phrases could make me feel like the most loved woman on the face of the earth.  I have friends who make me feel loved every day with only a sentence or two.

grungerockchick's guide to the fairer sex

So I was having a wee lil whinge, as you do, to a friend this morning about life in general and as often happens, we had a nice little vent session about you gentlemen.  You see, I really don't think we're that hard.  Really.

When I said to my friend that there are really only three rules you need to follow, she laughed.  Then I told her what they were and she said "Heh.  You're kinda right you know".  I know :).  So, read on...!

Crossing the bridge

Today is Easter Sunday.  Today we celebrate the true meaning of Christ's work for us on the cross...that He not only died for us, but that He was raised to life again for us.

Like many Christians around the nation and around the world, I spent a few hours this morning in a community of faith, worshipping my Savior and giving thanks and praise to Him.  It was also, for me, an opportunity to reflect on what Easter means to me as a Christian, and I'd like to share that with you.

Get jiggy with your dark side

2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else Galatians 6:2-4

The Bestie has a saying; "We all have a dark side".  We were having a good chat about it yesterday, and it got me really thinking about the importance of becoming intimate with one's dark side...and embracing it.

Project 366 : Day 4

I'd like to tell you today how grateful I am for Family W.  They've been friends of mine for several years now, and their support during that time has been utterly amazing.

Balancing unvarnished truth with amazing love and acceptance, Mrs W and her family have supported my sons and me through several crises in the last 18 months.  I don't know how I would have managed without their love, support and occasional kicks in the butt :-)

Project 366 : Day 3

I'm thankful today for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  I need to get back and finish writing my blog series on CBT, but suffice to say, it's changed my life and I wouldn't be who I am, where I am, today, without it.

Project 366 : Day 2

COFFEE.  I'm thankful for coffee!  Awesome caffeinated goodness not only helps the ping to awakeness, it's such a comfort drink.  I love coffee to start the day, as well as a "treat me" when I'm feeling down.

366 Things...Day 1

I'm ON THE WAGON.  I grant you, I'm on the wagon 20 days late.  But...I boarded it, OK?  A lot of people I know on social networking sites (and, probably, the way these things go viral, a fair few of your contacts too) started 2012 pledging to post one thing every day that they are thankful for.  I missed the boat a wee bit, but that's not going to stop me from pledging a moment of daily gratitude for the next year...I'll just finish a bit late too!

Why 366?  Because this year is a leap year, there are 366 days this calendar year.

So...today, I'm thankful for my beautiful sons.  The geeklings have taught me more about myself and about life, than I ever could I have dreamed when I first fell pregnant almost seven years ago.

They've taught me how to be courageous even when I least feel like it.  They've taught me the immense value of the smallest gestures - a kiss, a cuddle, "I love you" and "I'm sorry".  They've taught me how to love unconditionally and without limits.

Being a parent might be one of the hardest jobs, but it's also one of the most rewarding.  I'm thankful today that I'm their mother.

Rearview Mirror : Part I

I am starting to realise, just how often, the things in our lives that seem to be the worst, God takes them and uses them in His good and perfect plans for us.  When I look over the last year of my life, I am very, very much reminded of the famous poem Footprints - I can see that at the times I felt most low and lonely, the times I wondered where God was and even before I had re-accepted Him into my heart, there He was.

Carrying me.  Planning for me.  Preparing a journey for me and taking each tear drop, every ounce of agony, and turning it to His purpose.  What seemed so painfully unclear and confusing, becomes so clearly part of His purpose when I look at it with the benefit of hindsight.  Let me tell you a story...

Trust me

The only way out is letting your guard down and never die forgotten (I know) Forgive me my love I stand here all alone And I can see the bottom

You, Breaking Benjamin

I have had a rough week, emotionally.  For no discernible reason this week, the enemy redoubled his efforts to con me into believing his lies, it's that week of the month where I become an irrational insecure cranky mess, my children were with their father all week and we had yet another week of impossible deadlines and inexplicably broken stuff at work.  After spending the lead up to Christmas and New Year in an outpouring of love to several friends who needed me, I was already running on empty and feeling spent.

How are you dying today?

The other morning, I went to send the bestie a text, asking "How are you going today?".  Like many of us, I've got a "smart" phone and mine is a Samsung with a predictive text tool called "Swype".  Some how, my missive came out at "How are you dying today?".  And, of course, me being me, that sparked a blog post.

I've read and heard a lot lately about "dying to yourself" - giving one's life over to the Lord.  It seems like a massive concept.  The idea of living a laid down life seems so huge, so daunting, I think it's one we often put in the bucket of being something that "better Christians" can do.  Someone else.  Surely not me, I don't have the faith for that.  The will.  But, "how are you dying today" helped me shift this view into bite sized pieces.

On optimism and the benefit of the doubt

Note: This is part of a series of posts that I wrote some time ago, but held off publishing until I'd had a chance to do the right thing by those involved (since if they read this, they'll know who they are).

I'm currently faced with a situation where I'm in a bit of a "direct information void", trying to anticipate the actions of someone  close to me, who has it in their hands to hurt me very, very badly.  I almost wrote "destroy me" but, I'm made of tougher stuff than that.  So, you know, as close to destroyed as someone who is indestructible can get ;-).

Love, actually

Source: Christian Stores

I put together some big (for me) bits and pieces about the nature of true love recently.  The bible comments on love from two perspectives - that we should love each other as Jesus loves us (John 13:34) and that we should love one another as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31).  Jo from Princess Warrior Lessons wrote a really good blog entry on the latter.

It sparked me to really internalizing the old adage "you can not truly love someone else, until you love yourself".  God wants us to to live love - to be love, give love and receive love.  For us to be the shining diamonds that channel and reflect His love, for all people, everywhere.

And that is why I'm on a Facebook ban!

Recently, after some consideration, I decided I needed a "Facebook ban" - some time out from social networking.  Knowing myself as I do, I knew I'd have to actually deactivate my account in order to stick to this! So I asked a trusted friend to take on admin of the pages I own that didn't already have a co-admin (including the fan page for this blog!), went through the Facebook "we'll miss you" guilt trip of deactivating and then the obligatory 12 hours of withdrawals LOL!

Two days later I realised perhaps I was being overly hopeful in assuming no-one on my friends list would assume it was about them and asked The Bestie to post on her status for me (since she has 90% of my friends list on hers!) explaining that I was taking a break.  I was immediately beset with texts from a concerned friend asking what was "wrong", and "who" had upset me, etc.  Then today, I received a text from another friend who is not on The Bestie's list, assuming I had deleted him over some banter we'd had on Facebook the previous week and feeling quite put out.

I'm not a survivor - I'm an Overcomer!

One of my favorite Bible passages at the moment comes from the book of Matthew, 19:26: Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I have often referred to myself as a survivor - I'm tough and I can and do muddle through.  I know that quitting isn't an option most of the time, and combined with my natural loyalty, this leads me to grit my teeth and get through, if barely at times.

The Bestie gave me the most beautiful compliment recently when she said to me "you have a strength of mind stronger than almost anyone I know - you can get through anything you set your mind to".  Lately though, I've felt that this word falls short and is needlessly limiting.  I don't want to just survive, I don't think God intends for me to simply trudge through adversity in endless discomfort.  With my Lord beside me, I am no longer just a survivor - I'm an overcomer.

Until I hear it from you, it's not a fact

Have you ever thought about how dangerous gossip and third hand information are?  About our ability to read almost everything into almost nothing and just how dangerous the lack of information can be to the psyche and how damaging to relationships?

My new life motto is: Until I hear it from you, it's not a fact.

Do I make you uncomfortable?

Discomfort can be good, if you recognise it and use it appropriately.  Oftentimes, we don't listen to others or reject their point of view not because we've considered it and found it to be lacking, but because it makes us uncomfortable and we don't want it to be true.  

Human beings are geared to react evasively to pain and generally this serves us well - when we touch the hot stove and it hurts, we back away.  When we cut ourselves with the kitchen knife, we learn to be more careful.  This reflex, however, tends to fall flat on its face and be counterproductive when it comes to receiving advice and guidance from others, or working through "tough stuff" in interpersonal relationships.  Rather than sticking out the tough stuff, we turn tail and run...often cutting off our nose to spite our face!

Well I never!

Do you remember, as a child, your parents doing something to you that you found so repulsive, that you absolutely swore you would never inflict such horrible torture upon your own offspring?  And then, once you were a parent, for one reason or another, finding yourself doing those very things?

My two pet "scars of childhood" were cod liver oil and egg sandwiches.  I hated egg sandwiches with a burning fiery passion.  I vividly remember as a kindergarten child being forced to eat an egg sandwich (and erm...instead smearing it all over my table in protest!).  I declared, at that moment, a vow I have never forgotten: I will never make my child egg sandwiches for their packed lunch.  Ever.  Never.

So, you'll never guess what GeeklingV2b asked for in his lunchbox this week?  Yep.  Egg sandwiches.  And I made them for him.

*hangs head in shame*

Ten things...

I'm torn about publishing several drafts at the moment - and being lazy about finishing the move post!  So, here are random lists of 10 things that make me want to cry and 10 that make me smile, in no particular order, that have occurred to me during my current house move.

Holding on and letting go

I'm in a process of massive personal growth and upheaval right now.  Three weeks ago, I worked out something fairly major about where I've been going wrong for a good chunk of my life, where I needed to go, and how to get there.  Now I'm stuck into the middle of the hard work of actually getting there. It's a process of holding on...and of letting go.  It's terrifying and empowering and thrilling and devastating all at the same time.