Do I make you uncomfortable?

Discomfort can be good, if you recognise it and use it appropriately.  Oftentimes, we don't listen to others or reject their point of view not because we've considered it and found it to be lacking, but because it makes us uncomfortable and we don't want it to be true.  

Human beings are geared to react evasively to pain and generally this serves us well - when we touch the hot stove and it hurts, we back away.  When we cut ourselves with the kitchen knife, we learn to be more careful.  This reflex, however, tends to fall flat on its face and be counterproductive when it comes to receiving advice and guidance from others, or working through "tough stuff" in interpersonal relationships.  Rather than sticking out the tough stuff, we turn tail and run...often cutting off our nose to spite our face!

Holding on and letting go

I'm in a process of massive personal growth and upheaval right now.  Three weeks ago, I worked out something fairly major about where I've been going wrong for a good chunk of my life, where I needed to go, and how to get there.  Now I'm stuck into the middle of the hard work of actually getting there. It's a process of holding on...and of letting go.  It's terrifying and empowering and thrilling and devastating all at the same time.

When can we lose the victim shame game?

Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I'm talking about sexual assault.  Domestic violence.  Rape.  Child abuse.  When can we stop the victim shame game that prevents us from discussing them?

Today at work, we were joking around about how many years in jail one might put up with to accomplish certain nefarious tasks.  Another mother and I jokingly pointed out that hey, jail might not be all bad - someone else would do our washing and cooking!  Someone chimed in with "Yes, but they'd do things at night you wouldn't like".  I said "I've just lived through ten years of that", to which his response was to mutter "Didn't really need to know that" and the conversation effectively ended.