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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

grungerockchick's guide to the fairer sex

So I was having a wee lil whinge, as you do, to a friend this morning about life in general and as often happens, we had a nice little vent session about you gentlemen.  You see, I really don't think we're that hard.  Really.

When I said to my friend that there are really only three rules you need to follow, she laughed.  Then I told her what they were and she said "Heh.  You're kinda right you know".  I know :).  So, read on...!
My three golden rules for girly glee?

1. Don't lie to me

I think this one is pretty simple, really, but let me clarify.  Tell me the truth...always.  If I ask if you're going to be home late and you know full well you'll be getting tanked until dawn, don't insult my intelligence by saying you'll be home at midnight and then claiming you got held up.  When I ask you if something I do is bugging you and it's driving you to the point of desertion, don't pretend it's fine - let me know so I can fix it.

Rule #1 isn't an excuse to be an insensitive idiot though - if I ask you how I look in the hideous dress I just brought home, you can be both tactful and truthful by telling me "You know, I really prefer the red one" or "You love it, so who cares what I think!"

In short...don't lie to me.  Ever.  I need to know I can trust you, always, even if you will sometimes hurt me.

2. Don't cheat on me

Aaaaah again.  Seems simple.  Works out to be complicated.  I think we can all get the "don't sleep around" bit without much explanation.  But, rule #2 goes deeper than just the mattress mambo.  It means putting me in "first place" emotionally and spiritually as well.  If you're giving another woman greater emotional or spiritual intimacy than you are prepared to have with me, then I'm bound to feel jealous, regardless of whether or not there's any sexual intimacy going on.

That doesn't mean I have to come first every single instant, of every single day.  But it means I expect to hear the important things in your life from you, and that if I really need you, you'd pick me over your friends - especially the female ones!  Monogamy is about more than just refraining from sexual acts with other people - it's about making your partner your emotional, spiritual and physical focus and priority.

3. Tell me you appreciate me, every day 

I'm a big fan of Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages, so you'll have to figure out how best to "speak" this message to the gal in your life.  But you need to find a way to let her really feel, every day, that you feel lucky that she's chosen to be yours.  For me, it's as simple as my guy saying something like "You know, I'm so lucky to have you" or "I love you babe, thanks for being mine", or making me a coffee without my asking, etc.  Find a way to let her know that she's your priority, not just a convenient option, and reinforce your point often.

Simple Enough?!

Ok, so today's post was a little tongue in cheek.  I know relationships are more complicated than that.  But I really think there's a fair bit of helpful truth in there.

Don't lie.  Don't cheat.  Tell me I'm awesome.  Nearly guaranteed route to my love, adoration and cooked breakfasts :)

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