How blessed we are by tantrums

Yes, you read me right.  How blessed we are by tantrums.  You see, I got to thinking the other day, about the walls and barriers we build up around ourselves...and that others put up to keep us out.

My own recent experience with the perils of shutting people out reminded me the immense value in both the intensely scary act of letting someone in...and the simple but invaluable act of being an available, accepting and loving support to those who give us this trust.

Hopeless Hope

So...life has kind of gone to pieces again in the last few weeks.  I remain faithful in my promises to my King to keep loving, keep waiting and keep hoping.  I know our Savior has a plan, I know my faith will not go unrewarded and I know that ultimately, no love is worthless no matter how it might turn out in the end.  Patience, faith, love and grace - I am doing my best to walk in these traits as He has asked me to do.

The geeklings father has also told me in the last week that he wants to share custody of our children 50/50.  It's been a huge shock to me - and while, ultimately, I think will be to the benefit of our sons, the idea of "giving up" that much of my children's lives just wrenches my heart out.  I had never imagined a time when they wouldn't be "all mine".

I'm sitting here wondering just how much ache one heart can take in a short space of time.  Sunday, a week and two days ago, I sat sobbing with a friend and all I could say to her through my tears was "I can't".

Her response?  "It's not 'I can't' - the words are God Help Me".  So...God, please help me.  With His help, I can do anything that is asked of me.

Well I never!

Do you remember, as a child, your parents doing something to you that you found so repulsive, that you absolutely swore you would never inflict such horrible torture upon your own offspring?  And then, once you were a parent, for one reason or another, finding yourself doing those very things?

My two pet "scars of childhood" were cod liver oil and egg sandwiches.  I hated egg sandwiches with a burning fiery passion.  I vividly remember as a kindergarten child being forced to eat an egg sandwich (and erm...instead smearing it all over my table in protest!).  I declared, at that moment, a vow I have never forgotten: I will never make my child egg sandwiches for their packed lunch.  Ever.  Never.

So, you'll never guess what GeeklingV2b asked for in his lunchbox this week?  Yep.  Egg sandwiches.  And I made them for him.

*hangs head in shame*

Making Sad Sack

I'm taking a break today from my CBT series to share one of my recent crafty creations.

My son used to have a very mangy, dare I say feral, soft toy dog called "Sad Sack".  It used to be his father's as a baby, and was passed on to GeekV1R1 when he was a baby.

Sadly, Sad Sack got lost some months ago on an outing.  Impulsively, I promised to try to recreate Sad Sack from the one clear photograph we could find of him!

Last weekend, I finally got around to fulfilling that promise and this photograph is the result.  Whilst his head is not totally true to my memory of the original (it was the one unclear portion in the photograph), his owner is clearly pretty chuffed and they've been inseparable all week!

I'm pretty proud that I managed to make him a new soft toy with absolutely no pattern to work from!

The distorting effects of perspective

Perspective.  It's a funny thing.  One of the things that continually both amuses and frustrates the heck out of me about raising the geeklings is their extraordinarily different perspective on the world (known in the vernacular as "kids say the darndest things").  It's like a giant magnifying glass that illustrates just how individual everyone's view of things is.

Lies, damn lies, and statistics

Like many small children, the geeklings have had ear problems which required them to have ventilating tubes (grommets) put in their ears.  Unlike the vast majority of these children, my boys' ear problems occurred early, were quite severe and have lasted well into their sixth year of life with no sign of abating.  This has led to our being under the care of an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist since the children were first diagnosed at 17 months of age.  They are currently five and due to celebrate their sixth revolution of the Earth around the Sun in November.