Seasons and reasons

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

This week is once again, coming to the acceptance of God's will for me to work through a difficult season at the moment.  Accepting, with faith, hope and patience, that right now He asks me to walk a path that feels lonely, rough and unclear - the only promise absolute that He makes to me is my salvation in His son, and His love for me.

Hopeless Hope

So...life has kind of gone to pieces again in the last few weeks.  I remain faithful in my promises to my King to keep loving, keep waiting and keep hoping.  I know our Savior has a plan, I know my faith will not go unrewarded and I know that ultimately, no love is worthless no matter how it might turn out in the end.  Patience, faith, love and grace - I am doing my best to walk in these traits as He has asked me to do.

The geeklings father has also told me in the last week that he wants to share custody of our children 50/50.  It's been a huge shock to me - and while, ultimately, I think will be to the benefit of our sons, the idea of "giving up" that much of my children's lives just wrenches my heart out.  I had never imagined a time when they wouldn't be "all mine".

I'm sitting here wondering just how much ache one heart can take in a short space of time.  Sunday, a week and two days ago, I sat sobbing with a friend and all I could say to her through my tears was "I can't".

Her response?  "It's not 'I can't' - the words are God Help Me".  So...God, please help me.  With His help, I can do anything that is asked of me.

Well I never!

Do you remember, as a child, your parents doing something to you that you found so repulsive, that you absolutely swore you would never inflict such horrible torture upon your own offspring?  And then, once you were a parent, for one reason or another, finding yourself doing those very things?

My two pet "scars of childhood" were cod liver oil and egg sandwiches.  I hated egg sandwiches with a burning fiery passion.  I vividly remember as a kindergarten child being forced to eat an egg sandwich (and erm...instead smearing it all over my table in protest!).  I declared, at that moment, a vow I have never forgotten: I will never make my child egg sandwiches for their packed lunch.  Ever.  Never.

So, you'll never guess what GeeklingV2b asked for in his lunchbox this week?  Yep.  Egg sandwiches.  And I made them for him.

*hangs head in shame*

The move that was

On Friday, I moved into my VERY OWN HOME for the first time!  After over a decade of renting, I'm a proud first home owner.  It's been a massive journey, the day was nothing like I'd ever imagined and while I didn't get to share it with the people I had hoped and planned to, I was very blessed to have my loving parents with me to share my joy (and stresses and sorrows LOL!).

Moving out of my last rental was also quite an emotional milestone - it was the first house where I was truly independent, where I fell in love for the first time in my life.  Saying good-bye to the scene of those memories was kind of hard, but I'll hold them close to my heart.

Ten things...

I'm torn about publishing several drafts at the moment - and being lazy about finishing the move post!  So, here are random lists of 10 things that make me want to cry and 10 that make me smile, in no particular order, that have occurred to me during my current house move.

A rose by any other name...

Today's little minutiae for musing is names...and their meaning.  The geeklings father and I were married for seven years, and when we married, I took his name.  Now that we're no longer together, I keep flip flopping on whether to reclaim my maiden name or to keep "his" which frankly after seven years kind of feels like "mine" just as much, especially since it is also the name that my children have.

Making Sad Sack

I'm taking a break today from my CBT series to share one of my recent crafty creations.

My son used to have a very mangy, dare I say feral, soft toy dog called "Sad Sack".  It used to be his father's as a baby, and was passed on to GeekV1R1 when he was a baby.

Sadly, Sad Sack got lost some months ago on an outing.  Impulsively, I promised to try to recreate Sad Sack from the one clear photograph we could find of him!

Last weekend, I finally got around to fulfilling that promise and this photograph is the result.  Whilst his head is not totally true to my memory of the original (it was the one unclear portion in the photograph), his owner is clearly pretty chuffed and they've been inseparable all week!

I'm pretty proud that I managed to make him a new soft toy with absolutely no pattern to work from!

Cinnamon scrolls and contemplation

Well, it's been noticeably quiet here lately...it's been a very big week for me and although I've been doing a lot of thinking and writing,  I'm not quite ready to share any of it yet.

But just so as you know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, here by  popular demand, I'd love to share with you my cinnamon scrolls recipe, developed with much assistance from the gorgeous Nomadess over at Custard Tarts and Hot Coffee!  I apologise for not having exact quantities for the cinnamon butter or glaze...I tend to just throw the ingredients in until it looks right.

The distorting effects of perspective

Perspective.  It's a funny thing.  One of the things that continually both amuses and frustrates the heck out of me about raising the geeklings is their extraordinarily different perspective on the world (known in the vernacular as "kids say the darndest things").  It's like a giant magnifying glass that illustrates just how individual everyone's view of things is.

Lies, damn lies, and statistics

Like many small children, the geeklings have had ear problems which required them to have ventilating tubes (grommets) put in their ears.  Unlike the vast majority of these children, my boys' ear problems occurred early, were quite severe and have lasted well into their sixth year of life with no sign of abating.  This has led to our being under the care of an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist since the children were first diagnosed at 17 months of age.  They are currently five and due to celebrate their sixth revolution of the Earth around the Sun in November.